Vulnerability and the Authentic Self

18 10 2013

Vulnerability and the Authentic Self.

Vulnerability and the Authentic Self

12 10 2013

It’s a scary feeling, the sensation of opening your inner self .  The feeling  of letting people see your true spirit; the you who loves sappy romantic comedies, or who would rather eat cheese and crackers at home than to dine on a gourmet meal in a five-star restaurant.  Or even scarier, the self who follows a different spiritual path or holds to a different political belief than the one friends and family adhere to .

Exploring those differences takes courage and the willingness to be vulnerable.  Vulnerability is a feeling, a state of mind that we are all born with.  As children we float along on the surface of vulnerability, unaware of any other way, not knowing that it is possible to hide our sensitive underbellies in the depths, to disguise our true selves from the judgments of others.

Through growth and life experience, through moments of hurt or humiliation, we begin forming a shell, a mask to hide behind.  Our mask camouflages  us.  It make us fit into our place in life, fit in with the people around us;   it paints a picture of how we want to be seen by others.  Over time, years or months, or sometimes most of a lifetime, our mask starts to feel stifling.  The true self begins to chip away from the inside, until cracks form.  We reach a stage where we are willing to risk vulnerability in order to restore our authentic, real and vulnerable self.  Our mask crumbles away.

There comes a time in each of our lives when being real, when experiencing and sharing the truth of our existence, transcends  the fear of being vulnerable.  It is when we realize that experiencing a true and real existence is only possible when we are fully open to love, to ideas, to beliefs;  it is only then that we have the courage to be vulnerable. It is only then, when we fully believe, that we know a spirit unmasked is the true measure of human life.


The Reality Is….

22 09 2013

The Reality Is…..

Mean What You Say

10 09 2013

That's the (unfortunate) thing...

This quote, which I found recently, really spoke to me.  It seems our current political climate is full of politicians, pundits, and internet ranters, representing every part of the political spectrum, who no longer mean what they say, or say what they mean, at least in any kind of truthful way;  who deliberately and willfully mislead the American people by either outright lying or by cherry picking facts and details, and then spinning them to meet their own agenda.  These lies and “spins” are then presented to the public as actual facts!  And so many Americans really are decent and honest people who really do mean what they say and say what they mean, that they don’t realize the magnitude of the deceptions that are presented daily as news, in campaign speeches, and almost everywhere on the internet.  I pretty much don’t believe anything I hear anymore.  It’s such a disappointment when we no longer have places to go for honest information and real facts.  I’m sure this has been going on for a long time to some degree, but is it just me, or is the problem much worse now?  I think the speed of this downward spiral is directly related to 24 hour news channels and the internet.  The first is driven to “create” news in order to keep viewers coming back during slow news times, and to improve ratings. The latter is populated by political ranters with no real credibility, but who are masters at spreading lies and firing up people who believe the falsehoods being spread.  It’s a sad day for those in  America who mean what they say, and think everyone else does too.

Done Is Better Than Perfect

14 07 2013


This was my inspiration for today.  I’d been in a rut with my writing, and this helped me push through and complete over 10 pages of new work!  It may not be perfect, but revisions are my favorite part of writing. 



5 06 2013



Everybody needs beauty as well as bread,

places to play in and pray in,

where nature may heal and

give strength to body and soul.

John Muir

A Weakness for Chocolate

3 10 2012

I’m excited to announce the publication of my first novel, a romance/coming of age story about a young woman.  It’s available on Amazon and Kindle.  The title is the same as the title of this post.

Here is a teaser:

“The moment his chocolate-brown eyes met hers, Sage Claremont felt her insides melt along with her reservations. Cade Lofton knew when he saw the voluptuous strawberry blonde that he had to explore every inch of her delicious body. Of course, he never dreamed she was so innocent, but that made him want her even more. Sage couldn’t resist the dark-eyed cowboy with a secret background, and when his hands and mouth explored her curves, resistance wasn’t even an option. What neither of them expected was that they’d fall in love. What neither of them counted on was that life throws curve balls. Could a city girl with big dreams for her future find happiness with a cowboy whose secret past threatens their chance for a life together?”

As  you can tell from the teaser, it is the story of a young woman growing into herself, falling in love, and exploring her sexuality.  It is also the story of a young woman who follows her dreams and believes in herself, who builds her life around her work and family.  In writing this story, I hoped to make it more than just a romance novel, but after all, love is the basis of much that we strive for in our lives.  So if it is only a story of love, then maybe that is not so bad.  Reading is an escape, and my hope for those who read my novel is that they may escape for a few hours from their worries and experience the world that I created.  Enjoy!

This book has been a work in progress for about 15 years.  It feels really good to have finally completed it.  It was written in fits and starts, sometimes setting idle for a couple of years, then I would go back to it and feel compelled to continue.  The characters become real to me when I am writing, and I feel the need to finish telling their story.  My heroine, Sage Claremont, seems like an old friend; someone I knew in a past life, or even a part of myself.  Something I once read about how to get started writing a novel, said to write what you know.  That is what I did.  The setting and plot are based on parts of my life or, and the characters are built from parts of different people I knew.  While it is all completely fiction, I’m sure those of you who know me will recognize parts of myself in the story.  I love the process of writing, and revisions are my favorite part.  My next book is already in the process.  I can move on with it, and imagine another place based on what I know now.


Digital Magazines Pros and Cons

20 09 2012

I am an avid magazine reader, and subscribe to at least 8 magazines, some digitally and some paper.

This list will compare what I see as the pros and cons of each format.

Pros of Digital Magazines:
1. My magazine always arrives on time, and in excellent condition.
2. It includes extra content, although that content is only available if I have an internet connection, which is a con.
3. I can easily carry multiple magazines on my Nook when traveling.

Cons of Digital Magazines:
1. I cannot share the magazine or articles with friends, or even with my spouse, who would read some of my magazines if they were in paper format so I could easily share them.
2. Since I bought the magazine, shouldn’t I be able to share it if I want to? (I suppose this is an extension of #1)
3. Since I subscribe through Barnes and Noble for Nook magazines, the actual publishers don’t seem to have me listed as a subscriber, therefore I am not eligible for some of the subscriber benefits listed on their web pages, such as being able to access articles on the web pages.
4. In some cases, the digital subscription is more expensive than the paper one.
5. I began subscribing to digital magazines, in part, to be more “green,” but some companies send me the paper version too!

Pros of Paper Magazines:
1. I like being able to dog-ear the pages or even tear out pages for articles I like or want to share or save.
2. I can write in and highlight content that interests me while reading.

Cons of Paper Magazines:
1. They sometimes arrive several days late, or even get lost in the mail.
2. I hate getting renewal notices in the mail constantly when my subscription does not run out for 11 months!

What do you all think?  Which version is your favorite?

Inspiration Sunrise

1 07 2012

Inspiration Sunrise.

Inspiration Sunrise

1 07 2012

A faint glow on the horizon  greeted us this morning as we headed out early for a sunrise picture taking expedition.  We drove across the 7-mile bridge in the muted pre-sunrise light, and reached our destination after a short walk down a rocky slope and around a natural sea shore trail.  The Zoe dog was in her element, sniffing the decaying sea grasses, rolling in smelly detritus, and sneaking her lapping tongue into salty waves.  She delighted in ignoring our warnings as we attempted to set up our tripods while keeping an eye on her explorations.  She really tried to be a good dog, until, sensing our distraction with camera equipment, she couldn’t resist bounding off down the beach.  Our calls fell on deaf-doggy ears, and we were forced to abandon the serious business of photography and go into doggy retrieval mode.  She bounded back and forth past us, tongue lolling and eyes sparkling with fun, wheeling and bounding by again.  Finally, after several fly-bys, her energy flagged, and she remembered what stay meant.  I snagged her wet, sand-covered leash and she meekly followed me back to my camera, where I commenced shooting the sunrise.  The cloudy horizon wasn’t what I had in mind when this photo shooting trip was conjured, but it turned out okay.  The beautiful island morning inspired me, and the joy of a happy dog was icing on the cake!